Beyond the Sugar Skulls and Papel Picado
Día de los Muertos is deeply personal to me, tied to my heritage and my family, yet it’s painful to see how often it’s misrepresented and commercialized. People sometimes see it as “Mexican Halloween,” but in truth, its meaning and history are completely different.
For starters, this special day is celebrated on November 2nd and is seen as a time to honor and remember loved ones who have passed. It is also rooted in Indigenous practices that embrace death as a natural part of life.
When I see skulls and skeletons on store shelves, I’m reminded of how far the holiday has been taken from its origins. It most certainly feels like the Americanization of Dia de los Muertos was done intentionally to turn this day into something trendy and synonymous with Halloween instead of the heartfelt expression of connection with family, ancestors, and tradition. The commercialization dilutes its significance, obscuring the rituals and emotions that lie at its core.
What’s misunderstood is that Día de los Muertos is not about horror or fright; it’s about love, memory, and reverence. The celebration offers a unique way to process grief. By openly remembering loved ones, creating altars, and sharing stories, we acknowledge both the pain of their absence and the joy they brought us.
Día de los Muertos teaches that grief doesn’t need to be hidden; it can be embraced. Through ritual, we give form to our pain, transforming it into connection and purpose. Embracing both life and death helps us move forward, with our loved ones’ memories woven into our own lives. We remember that they’re still part of our journey and that their legacy can be a source of strength.
It's not Disney.
Respecting Día de los Muertos as more than a trendy decoration or Halloween alternative is crucial. When we celebrate with understanding, we preserve its power and true purpose: honoring the connections that transcend death, reminding us that we are all part of an unbroken circle of life.
Día de los Muertos is often misunderstood by those unfamiliar with Mexican culture, who base their perceptions on movies, images, and stereotypes that only hint at its full meaning. For example, while Disney’s Coco did bring more visibility to Día de los Muertos, it also simplified and commercialized the holiday. The movie introduced a broader audience to the concepts of family and remembrance, yet it missed the deeper, collective aspects of Mexican life at the heart of the celebration.
Día de los Muertos isn’t just about individual family bonds; it’s about connection to community and to generations past. It’s a time of collective remembrance, where communities come together to create ofrendas, share meals, tell stories, and hold vigils. Each element—like papel picado, pan de muerto, and cempasúchil flowers—carries symbolic meaning, reflecting the strength of families and communities that carry these traditions forward.
Films like Coco, while heartwarming, can strip Día de los Muertos of its communal depth by aligning it with Western storytelling. These portrayals often leave out the fact that, for many Mexican families, honoring the dead is not just a one-day celebration but a lifelong practice. It’s rooted in resilience and shared experience, emphasizing that our lives are richer because of our connections to others, living and deceased.
When Día de los Muertos is presented through a Western lens, it can unintentionally lose its heart, which is about unity, continuity, and honoring our ancestors as part of a larger cultural heritage. To truly understand Día de los Muertos, we must look beyond media portrayals and recognize it as a time for healing, remembrance, and an unbroken relation between past and present, sustained by community.
Can You Build Your Own Ofrenda?
Absolutely! It’s wonderful to experience cultural traditions different from our own, but it’s equally important to approach them with respect and a desire to learn about their deeper meanings.
Día de los Muertos, for example, has endured since the days of the great Indigenous civilizations—the Aztec, Maya, and Nahua—who saw death as a natural part of life’s journey. By learning about these roots with humility and curiosity, we can honor Día de los Muertos as it deserves, find inspiration to honor our own ancestors, gain solace in grief, and draw hope from our connections to the past.
Many Mexican families find joy in sharing Día de los Muertos, and this generosity provides an incredible opportunity to experience their customs with authenticity. If you'd like to build your own ofrenda, start with a simple altar space.
Add a photo of the person you’re remembering, candles for light, marigold flowers to guide their spirits, and their favorite foods and drinks. Personal items add meaningful touches, like a book they loved or their favorite coffee cup.
Did you know?
Día de los Muertos also honors our furry family members. While this day traditionally focused on family and friends, recent years have seen many families extending the tradition to their pets, commemorating the deep bonds they shared with these companions.
The Aztecs believed in La Tierra de los Perros, the Land of the Dogs—a realm in the underworld where loyal dogs helped guide souls across the nine rivers of Mictlan. The Xoloitzcuintli, an ancient hairless dog breed (think Dante in Coco), was seen as an ideal soul guide, believed to protect and warm souls on their journey.
Pet Day of the Dead is now celebrated on October 27, a day dedicated to honoring pets like dogs, cats, birds, and even reptiles. Mexican households include spaces on their ofrendas to pay tribute to these beloved animals. Pet altars often contain meaningful items like their favorite food, toys, a photograph, marigold flowers, candles, and water.
By honoring our pets on Día de los Muertos, we embrace their memory and create space for our grief, reflecting on the joy they brought to our lives and keeping their presence with us in spirit. This tradition teaches us that memory, love, and connection extend beyond the human experience, enriching our lives and filling our journey with warmth.
What Does This Mean for the Grieving Process?
All of this—the traditions of Día de los Muertos and our beloved pets—reflects profound insights into the human experience of death and grieving. These practices reveal a deep understanding of grief as a natural, unifying part of life.
At the heart of Día de los Muertos is the belief that death is not an end but a transition. By creating altars, sharing stories, and welcoming the spirits of the departed, we actively keep them present in our lives, teaching us that grieving isn’t about hiding pain but finding ways to carry our loved ones forward with us. Through remembrance, we transform grief into connection, keeping love alive, even in their absence.
Collective remembrance supports healing. Día de los Muertos fosters an environment where everyone shares in loss and memory, reminding us that we are not alone in our pain and sorrow. When we build ofrendas, we find comfort and hope in knowing our memories of the departed live on and that one day, others will honor us in return.
Ultimately, Día de los Muertos holds space for all of our human experiences—joy, sorrow, memory, and perpetuity—and helps us find peace. It’s a tradition that reminds us of our interconnection, showing us that life, death, love, and remembrance are the sacred threads binding us all.